In my journey toward healing, I often played a game of tug-of-war with God. I told Him I was handing the situation with my gender-confused dad over to Him, but I kept pulling it back toward me\u2014trying one more solution on my own. I lived a long time under the \u201cno one else\u201d mentality: \u201cIf something is going to be done, I must do it\u201d and \u201cNo one can help Dad but me.\u201d Eventually though, I ran out of what-ifs, maybe-I-shoulds, and if-onlys. I was so exhausted and my hands were so bloody from rope burn that I had to let go. I had to let God take over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Asking God to take control will be difficult\u2014your urge to take charge may be as strong as mine\u2014but surrender demonstrates your confidence in His ability, His love, and His power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part of what drives us to fight for control is fear. What will happen if we do (or don\u2019t do) such-and-such? How will so-and-so react if I do (or don\u2019t do) such-and-such? Another mindset that motivates us to fight for control is the delusion that we can control a person or a situation. The truth is\u2014God alone is in control. Not us!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first step toward releasing control is determining what we can and can\u2019t control. Basically, we can\u2019t control other people. Neither can we control a lot of situations we face. Sometimes we can\u2019t even control ourselves. But through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to respond to people and circumstances in a godly, healthy way. For example, we cannot control our LGBT loved one\u2019s decisions or actions, but we can control how we respond to those decisions and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Get alone with God and consider what makes it so difficult to hand your heartbreak and disappointments to Him. Ask Him to reveal the reasons you struggle to hold on to the rope\u2014burns and all. If you\u2019re like me, my refusal to release the rope had two causes: I wanted to fix my problems myself, and I wanted my loved one to seek completeness and obedience in God. How ironic! I wanted my loved one to depend on God even as I insisted on independence from God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Solomon was the wisest person who ever lived, and he was king of a prosperous nation, yet he recognized that the best way to live was to turn control over to God: \u201cTrust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding\u201d (Proverbs 3:5). In other words, release control! Solomon then adds, \u201cIn all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight\u201d (v. 6). Talk to God before every interaction with your LGBT loved one. Ask Him to make clear what you should and shouldn\u2019t say, where you should and shouldn\u2019t yield.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The phrase \u201clet go and let God\u201d is more than a bumper-sticker slogan. Relinquishing control is a daily, moment-by-moment choice. When we balance responsible living with humble submission to God, we can stop playing the tug-of-war game with Him and start winning the conflicts we face.<\/p>\n
In my journey toward healing, I often played a game of tug-of-war with God. I told Him I was handing the situation with my gender-confused dad over to Him, but I kept pulling it back toward me\u2014trying one more solution on my own. I lived a long time under the \u201cno one else\u201d mentality: \u201cIf … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Denise","author_link":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/author\/denise\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"In my journey toward healing, I often played a game of tug-of-war with God. I told Him I was handing the situation with my gender-confused dad over to Him, but I kept pulling it back toward me\u2014trying one more solution on my own. I lived a long time under the \u201cno one else\u201d mentality: \u201cIf…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4096"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4096\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4097,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4096\/revisions\/4097"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingstonesministries.org\/help4families\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}