Megan called me one afternoon to talk about a female coworker transitioning to become a man. \u201cShe\u2019s my friend,\u201d Megan said, \u201cShe wants me to use her preferred male name and pronouns, but I care about her health and emotional well-being. How can I demonstrate my love, respect, and concern for her without compromising my convictions?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I identified with Megan\u2019s struggle because I, too, had wrestled with how to speak the truth to my dad when he embraced a female identity. I wanted to respond with loving respect, but I was also repulsed by his behavior and fantasies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Scripture says we shouldn\u2019t be \u201cblown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming\u201d (Ephesians 4:14). Instead, we should speak the truth in love (v. 15). So, how can we be loving and truthful when someone wants us to use their preferred pronouns?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When family members support their loved one\u2019s preferred pronouns and gender identity, they enable that person to do something that doesn\u2019t serve their long-term well-being. Once this line has been crossed, the loved one\u2019s identification with a false self is affirmed, and without intending to, many family members and friends have joined the gender-confused person in denying the fundamental truth of God\u2019s creation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The person requesting this is also asking family and friends to violate their conscience, which is a gift from God\u2014a tool He provides to point us toward His principles and ways. Sometimes, particularly in today\u2019s culture, we develop false consciences, based on popular beliefs about what is right and wrong. These human ideas (evolution, secularism, humanism, situational ethics, and traditions) influence what we consider moral and ethical. But they are man-made, not Spirit-directed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reality must be based on who Christ says we are and who He is fashioning us to be in a daily relationship with Him. Our loved one\u2019s true identity will be found in Christ, not in some false feminine or masculine persona of their imagination. Refusing to affirm a loved one\u2019s fantasy is living and loving in truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, what biblical principles can help us navigate decisions about using preferred pronouns?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00b7 God hates lies and loves truth. (Proverbs 12:22)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00b7 Indulging someone\u2019s fantasies isn\u2019t beneficial to their mental, emotional, or spiritual well-being. (Proverbs 26:28)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00b7 God calls us to remain firm on our convictions even when others disagree with us. (Hebrews 10:22\u201324)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of readily agreeing to use a loved one\u2019s preferred pronouns, prayerfully consider these conversation starters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry you don\u2019t understand why I can\u2019t call you by ___. But I cannot say what does not reflect my heart or convictions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI care about you, and I don\u2019t think this is God\u2019s best for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would\u2019ve created a stumbling block if I\u2019d allowed my father to walk in the false belief that he was someone other than the person God created him to be. I couldn\u2019t make choices for my father, but I could set boundaries\u2014for my dad\u2019s long-term well-being and to preserve my family\u2019s character. Boundaries aren\u2019t bad; they\u2019re meant to protect us and our loved ones. Talk to God about what boundaries he wants you to establish, stand firm on your biblical convictions, and speak the truth in a loving, respectful way.<\/p>\n
Megan called me one afternoon to talk about a female coworker transitioning to become a man. \u201cShe\u2019s my friend,\u201d Megan said, \u201cShe wants me to use her preferred male name and pronouns, but I care about her health and emotional well-being. How can I demonstrate my love, respect, and concern for her without compromising my … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4377,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t