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What are some key thoughts Christians should keep in mind as they try to reach people in their lives who identify as LGBTQ, who are rejecting their gender, or who are transitioning?

First, offer the person empathy and let them know you care about what they are wrestling with.

We always need to meet someone where they are. By this, I mean that we realize they aren’t in the same place we are as a Christian or in our walk with the Lord. The issue at hand really isn’t their sexuality or how they’re identifying, but rather their need for Jesus Christ and living a life of holiness. God will take care of the rest as their life is transformed and they begin to walk with him.

Here are some additional suggestions:

Begin with intentional listening.

When someone decides to share their story with you, remember this admission took courage. Encourage trust by letting them know your feelings too. Tell them that you didn’t realize they were wrestling with their feelings in these ways or that you don’t understand but are willing to learn. Share your sorrow that they’ve felt they couldn’t share the news with you or other people and that you recognize how alone they may have felt.

Share vulnerably from your own life.

Speak the truth in love.

This is the tricky part. While it can sometimes be counterproductive to share your beliefs about LGBTQ+ issues, it can also be problematic to withhold those beliefs. We want to be cautious about the way we demonstrate our love and concern, which is usually communicated through the words we choose and the tone of our voice.

You could offer a statement such as this: “Thank you for letting me be part of your life and for sharing something so personal and difficult for you. I may not agree with some of the conclusions you’ve reached, but I do understand how you got there. I love you and hope we can continue to share with each other.”

Each of us have had ups and downs in our faith journey, so remember to be present for the person and be patient as they navigate their journey with God.

How can I live a life free from bondage?

Recognize sinful and/or harmful patterns holding you back from experiencing freedom

Be honest with yourself. Identify attitudes, addictions, or cycles that repeatedly trap you.

Invite God (through prayer and reading Scripture) to show you what you might be blind to.

Write them down and reflect on how they impact your relationships, peace, and purpose.

Allow faith to control your mind, not your mind

Renew your mind daily by filling it with truth — meditate on Scriptures, uplifting teachings, and promises of freedom.

When intrusive thoughts or doubts come, remind yourself: “I choose faith over fear, truth over lies.”

Pray for the mind of Christ: wisdom, peace, and discernment beyond your own strength.

Allow God to do what you can’t, and let go

Surrender the things you cannot fix or control. Trust that God is working even when you don’t see it.

Practice daily surrender — not once and done, but moment by moment: “Lord, I give this to You.”

Surround yourself with a supportive community who offers you discipleship and helps you stay accountable.

Living free is a process, not a one-time event. Freedom grows as you stay close to God, receive His grace, and choose daily to walk away from old chains.

QUESTION: I have heard ex-gay leaders say that “homosexuality” is not about sex. What do they mean?

ANSWER: It is true that homosexuality is defined as “attraction to the same sex” and so appears to be about sex. However homosexuality is not sexual in its origin. To help you understand, let’s change the subject to anorexia or bulimia. Anorexia and bulimia are mental strongholds that have little to do with food. A person who suffers from anorexia does so–not because of the lack of food, but because she (usually women suffer from this condition) is deceived by her thought processes. She looks into the mirror and convinces herself that she is fat. Emotionally, she cannot see the deception and so refuses to eat.

Likewise, homosexuality is a stronghold that has little to do with sex. God created us male and female. However, homosexual thought, feelings, and behaviors can be traced to past negative or traumatic experiences or thoughts that precipitate sexual disorientation, causing individuals to believe a lie or deception.

QUESTION: My son says that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality because Jesus never said anything about it. Is that true? How should I respond to his comments?

ANSWER: When someone is struggling with feelings they have not chosen and wanting to act on these feelings, he/she will look for reasons to justify acting out those feelings. One of the arguments of pro-gay theology is that Jesus did not speak against homosexuality. It is true that Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality. However, the fact that He did not say anything about it does not negate the specific prohibitions against it elsewhere in the Old and New Testaments. (See Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:18-32, I Corinthians 6:9-11.) Homosexuality is not addressed positively anywhere in the Bible.

We do not know everything that Jesus said. Perhaps He did address it, and it was not recorded. In John 21:25, it says, “And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written.” Saying that Jesus condoned homosexuality because He never spoke about it is a logical fallacy. It is called “an argument from silence.” While we have no words from Jesus regarding homosexuality, it does not mean that He did not care about the issue. Jesus also did not talk about incest or wife-beating, and we do not condone these behaviors.

You might respond to your son with something like this: “I understand you are hurting, son, and you would like to believe that homosexuality is okay. Let me tell you about what I have learned. (State above arguments). Even though Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality, He knows what you are going through and He loves you and wants to bring healing to your life. He can give you the courage and strength to overcome your homosexual feelings, but you need others to support you, as well. Help is available when you are ready, and I will love you and support you through the process.”

QUESTION:  I have a friend who is homosexual who does not believe that his background has anything to do with his same-sex feelings.  He believes that he is “normal” and that he was born with same-sex attractions.  How do I convince him otherwise?

ANSWER:  Thomas à Kempis, a monk who lived in the 14th century and wrote the Christian classic, The Imitation of Christ, wrote the following words: “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”

From time to time, I am accused of trying to “change” people, and I think of Thomas à Kempis’ words.   In truth, we cannot change anyone.  Changing people is God’s job.  Our job is to love them, pray for them, be vulnerable about our own sins and the ways God has dealt with us, and challenge them to live in obedience to Christ’s teachings.

God is the only one who knows what is truly going on in this man’s heart.  The “normal” your friend is experiencing comes from what makes sense to him about his life.  We are often blind to our own reality and end up believing a lie our minds have led us to believe. We cannot force another person to renounce the lies they believe if they don’t see them as lies.  That is why prayer is so important.

I Corinthians 2:11 says it this way:  “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him?”

Continue to love your brother and pray for Him.   God can do amazing things through you as you love and care for him.