My Dad As Becky
What’s involved for someone who struggles with transgender feelings?
Restoration begins with the desire to become reconciled with early, unresolved childhood emotional wounds; events in early developmental years which threatened or undermined a person’s feelings of security, peace, warmth, comfort, and a secure sense of being deeply and unconditionally/uniquely loved.
Discovering what the first formative years of life were like in the care of one’s parents, which led to the security or insecurity of the child. Thee end-purpose is not to find fault with the parents and blame them for all one’s choices; but rather to discover the obvious interruptions to one’s basic trust level and the concurrent developmental structure of one’s own sense of personal gender/sexual identity.
Emotional healing results when you come to terms with the ‘root causes’ for your life choices; the reasons for your first experimentation with clothes and activities of the opposite gender. The first and foremost restorative issue have to do with coming to terms with “What caused the early childhood disruption of basic trust, bonding with the same-sex parent, and the separation anxiety resulting from one’s insecurity within the family; as well as the inward view of one’s own sexual/gender status”? When the foundations of a healthy self=view are fractured in the first seven years of life, it results in poor foundations for healthy adolescent development.
Emotional restoration begins with you deal with the unhealed emotional wounds of your past-those interpersonal connections which failed and the emotional distancing that occurred in the determination to run away from the perceived source of your emotional pain.
Healing happens when you put an end to defining yourself as ‘different’ and ‘a member of the opposite gender because of your natural in-born temperament and natural interests, which created an inward desire to do those things which are naturally ascribed to be the opposite gender. This has much more to do with one’s God-proscribed uniqueness than it has to do with some kind of genetic flaw.
What must someone struggling with this issue accept or face before hoping to find lasting and genuine inner peace?
You need to come to terms with your own God-given uniqueness and personality. Shame based thinking must be uprooted; dealt a deathblow. All the painful events of your past must be uncovered beneath the Godly oversight of a professional therapist who knows how to minister emotional healing prayer for you.
You will need to understand that your trans-gender thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are your chosen method of escaping your present reality. You are running away from that which brings you pain. Your attachment to the world of the opposite genders your way of detaching from your sense of being rejected as a member of your God-prescribed gender. You will need to admit that you are flawed in your inward self-view, which gives rise to those all too common feelings of insecurity and ineptness, or distain for members of your own gender.
You will need to admit that only your Creator can repair the emotional damage done. Of course God uses pole and events to restore lives; to help us understand what we are fleeing from…. and need to do in order to stop detaching from our own gender, resulting in inner peace. You will need to begin to embrace and thank God for your gender identity, not reject it.