Dear Friend,

It is to be expected that measurable relief and restoration can result from the hard work of personal restoration. Some individuals seeking to leave the transgender lifestyle experience a total cessation of any further tendencies to “boot up” the same icons that once were such an important part of their daily feel-good maintenance—or of what seemed to be their survival. But anyone involved in recovery work encounters periodic troublesome skirmishes. The crucial question then becomes “My way or God’s way?”

Daily focus

People who have battled transsexual desires tend to follow their damaged inner compass, which naturally points back to transgender confusion and bondage when trials arise. At such a time, the person needs to acknowledge that, just like the apostle Paul, he faces the daily task of focusing upon the Lord and daily doing what is necessary to put to death the misdeeds of the body (Romans 8:13) in order to live to the fullest. That discipline is required in order to make Jesus Lord of our life.

       No one likes this self-denial; Paul struggled with it (see Romans 7). Many have interpreted continuing struggles with their flesh patterns as an indication that they are only denying their true identity as transsexuals. They say that denying the desire is a lie, and they want to “live in truth.” After embracing the lie as the truth, they adjust their lives accordingly, and expect everyone else in their social sphere to do the same.

       These kinds of thoughts and feelings don’t have to regulate their conduct or become their reality. To be a Christian is to learn to draw heavily upon Christ’s amazing grace to overcome our natural, ungodly, and fleshly inclinations—to deny the old sinful nature its knee-jerk reactions to external stimuli. Jesus said that those who want to be His disciples must deny themselves and follow Him. The gospel of Jesus Christ always forces an issue of the will. Do we accept God’s verdict on sin as revealed through the cross of Jesus Christ?

Real life—or stew?

The question is not whether God loves us or not. The question is, “Will we allow that great love to permeate our humanity and change our heart, our sinful propensity to rebel against God’s intention, or will we abandon our inheritance for a bowl of stew as Esau did?” (See Genesis 25:29-34.) Exchanging a caring and loving family (and God’s fruitful blessings) for feminine clothes is an Esau-like, shortsighted swap.

       God is neither partial nor irrational; His grace does not declare sex-reversal surgery to be sinful and selfish for one and then sanction it for another. Who could trust such an unstable deity? Our human selfishness and instability concocts such a confused self-serving notion as one that says, “God told me to do it.” The god of self is the one that declares such nonsense. Some argue that “God created me to be the opposite sex,” and they mistakenly wound up in the wrong body. Blaming God for their “dilemma” is a lie. We humans have created and manufactured “alternative lifestyles” and then pinned them on God. Gender then becomes the person’s idol.

Freedom or license?

At times, running up the white flag of surrender may seem like the only reasonable thing to do. But is it? Such heretical, self-serving license, rooted in victim mentality, gives the person who believes the lie an inner sanction to destroy not only his life, but also to victimize his family and friends by this choice—by his own selfish, fleshly desires.

       So let’s talk about freedom in this context. Freedom does not mean the total absence of transgender inclinations, thought, and feelings. Genuine freedom comes through daily application of the principles of the Spirit-led life, through death to the old ways of dealing with life’s circumstances, and the appropriation of the new life that Christ offers to all who seek Him daily for the grace He alone supplies to walk as a slave to righteousness. Paul clarifies it further as he drives home the point of successful Christian living: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:7-9).

       Some seem to think that “successful Christians” are free from the temptations of the old life. Look around on any given Sunday and you’ll see that such a belief is neither sensible nor true. The notion that Christians can reach a point beyond temptation to sin is a myth perpetrated by self-righteous people who fail to understand the Scriptures, their fellow man, or even themselves. Being free can be accomplished only by daily standing against the natural, powerful inclinations of self-will.

       The person who truly wants to escape the selfish desires of a temptation like cross-dressing must steer clear of any opportunity to indulge the flesh; stay away from the places and things that enticed the “old man.” The same principle applies to any wrong indulgence, whether it’s overeating, gambling, alcohol consumption, or illicit sex. People indulge in harmful activities—whatever they might be—for the same reason: They’re looking for comfort. No one should be surprised that humans sometimes desire sinful indulgences. But to baptize those demands and call them “God’s will” reflects a hard and wayward heart; it cheapens the cross of Christ and reveals resistance to the truth.

       Cross-dressing or transgender issues are not new to the human race or to Christ. But those who struggle with these topics can walk in freedom from the conflicting passions of their soul when they properly maintain their spirit, soul, and body. In so doing, they walk in truth and light, as directed in John’s first epistle. Change is discovered when, in hard or difficult times, people turn toward Christ and pursue His ways rather than their own.

A crucified life

Galatians 5:24 says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature, with its passions and desires.”

       Freedom encompasses nothing less than a regular, ongoing, daily, and vital relationship with the only One who can save—Jesus Christ. Freedom requires a determined stand against the impulses of one’s flesh and the sinful drive that would propel each of us into self-serving destruction if given half a chance. Read 2 Corinthians 6 and 7 to see instructions for Christian believers. You will find commands such as these:

· Do not receive the grace of God in vain or to no purpose (6:1).

· Do not be yoked with those who profess things inconsistent with your faith (6:14).

· Do not make partnership with those who are iniquitous and lawless (6:14).

· Do not align yourself with those who walk after their flesh and another god (6:15).

· Come out from among and separate yourself from the unclean (6:17).

· Cleanse yourself from all that contaminates and defiles body and spirit (7:1).

Victory through God’s grace

Pretending that people cannot overcome wrong desires—or are unable to work through addictive thoughts or habits—is a destructive form of denial. To be an active over-comer requires a soldier-like posture and mentality—a heart that aims to honor God. No one is sinless in himself. God’s abundant provision of grace is the only thing that can help people to change.

       Society tells us to gratify our wrong desires rather than to be disciplined, restrained, or responsible. The path of least resistance leads only to captivity. Some are caught in the battlefield of the mind. Others are caught in the crossfire: wives, children, parents, and friends.  I prayerfully ask you to read this book and allow our heavenly Father to come alongside you, no matter where you are at this moment. And, if you are a minister reading this book, may the Lord our God guide you heart and bless you with wisdom.

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.  – Ephesians 4:7