When a Husband Thinks He’s a She

What do you say to a woman who shares the painful secret that her husband thinks he is a woman? In a world where right is wrong and wrong is right, families and the church are confronted with a variety of issues that often are not as black and white as they were one generation ago. The media, some counselors, and pseudo-science findings argue that a woman facing such a situation needs to accept that her husband really is a woman trapped inside a man’s body, and she should also accept and embrace his cross-dressing behavior.

God intends that the marriage covenant be a lifelong, fruitful relationship between a man and        a woman. Marriage is a vow to God, to each other, and to our families to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation, and sexual purity. But how can a marriage prosper when the husband wants to be the wife, wearing make-up and women’s clothes? A man who gets caught up in such behavior can become as deeply trapped by it as Ebenezer Scrooge was in his insatiable lust for more money.

A woman caught in such a marriage might very well love her confused husband and desire with all her heart to honor their covenant, but she feels alone and lost. Hope for such a situation comes not in accepting the myth of who the man thinks he is, but in embracing who God really created him to be in Christ.

Some of us might recoil at the husband’s strange behavior, but remember, his wife is hurting and scared. If she has small children, she has the added burden of trying to shield them from their father’s confusing behaviors. And, as the children grow older, at some point she likely will have to figure out a way to explain the strange things Daddy does. The wife cannot heal her husband’s bizarre behaviors, false belief system, or heart attitude. Only God can do that.

When a husband wears women’s clothing, his wife needs prayer. This, of course, is the standard response in the  church,  and   it  is also the best place to start. A strong women’s group of prayer warriors is a priceless gift for the wife. Friends and family need to love her where she is. Their love and compassion will be part of her healing. She belongs in God’s hands—that is where she will receive all she needs.