Because of my Dad’s porn struggle, my parents divorced when I young. Though the church tried to help him, he wasn’t willing to be accountable. He thought he’d be able to overcome the addiction on his own, but the enemy knew better. Our family was devastated by his porn addiction. My parents’ marriage was destroyed, and my siblings and I were heartbroken. Later we would face another chapter on this painful journey with my dad.

He came out as gay, later in life, believing that it was time to be “true” to himself. While he’s being true to himself, my siblings and I mourn and grieve. His declaration overwhelmed my siblings and me. I pondered on how my mom must hurt for my dad, knowing he’s struggling inside, and that he’s not running to God, but rather to other men.

My dad asked to meet with me alone—apart from my mother, my siblings, and my husband—to discuss his life.  Who does that? Why would he ask me to keep something from my spouse, the one person I need as I navigate through my pain.

It seems his self-centeredness continues as time passes, while destruction trails behind him and my family. I struggle with how to love him. Our culture says I must show my love for him by accepting his choice. But is it really love when I know he’s not walking with God, nor is he really in a peaceful place? I don’t believe so. I know my God has much better for him. Love is not conditional; it is freely given, just as Christ Jesus gives to us. When we sin, He doesn’t stop loving us.

Speaking life instead of death comes from not only sharing my heart with my dad, but also through the words of God’s truth, and through my undying love for my dad. I will pray for my dad and not grow weary of being on my knees before the throne of God.

I stand on God’s love for my dad and myself. No sin can undermine His love for us. Countless Scriptures remind us not just that God loves, but that He is love. The Bible says God’s love is perfect. Exodus 34:6 says, “The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” No matter how many bad decisions you make, God’s love for you never ends. God’s love surpasses human love.

God’s love surpasses human love. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:3).