How can the church disciple the hurting LGBT person? This is a question I’m asked frequently. We would like the answer to be an easy 1-2-3 response, but in reality, discipleship is a difficult path. One of the foundational places to begin is knowing as a church we are clear on LGBT topics affecting the homosexual or transgender person. There is much confusion in the secular world and the Christian world on how we should respond and how we should disciple when the interested party comes to us, the church.
This brings to my mind the time I spoke with the pastor of the church my dad attended. In this particular conversation, I asked him, “Why did you permit my dad to join in as a woman, and why do you refer to him as Becky?” The pastor replied, “We wanted him and everyone to feel welcome here.” Was this a good response? Not really. The desire to affirm someone in an identity that defies God and demonstrates rebellion was not addressed, and that desire doesn’t lead to discipleship. That pastor missed the opportunity to speak truth into my dad’s life, which is essential in someone being set free from a destructive lifestyle.
If we offer little feel-good acts of consolation, we miss the opportunity to uncover and dig up roots of rebellion that prevent someone from being set free. Authentic compassion requires the church to be
longsuffering, and from the right heart attitude, speak the truth that will address the issues of the other person’s heart. Would it have created some pain for my dad if his pastor had done this? I compassionately answer yes. But the pain would have led to relief and the opportunity for genuine healing. We should be willing to share truth in love because the tone of our heart has an extremely important and powerful effect on the lives we want God to transform.
In true discipleship, we don’t focus on the struggler’s past life or current struggles, but rather we provide an environment to help them grow into mature disciples of Christ Jesus, just as you and I must do. The goal is achieved and the blessings come when we witness the person walking in a strengthened faith (John 14: 12–13). We had to learn how to walk in unity with Christ (John 17:23). We had to let go of our sinful desires to become obedient to Jesus (John 14:15). Show a willingness to be selfless rather than selfish—serving Christ rather than ourselves. Look for opportunities to love and forgive others, even those who hurt us.
Life is difficult. No matter what we’ve faced, we’ve had to find a way to live victoriously through trials and tribulations (John 16:32–33) and to exemplify the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). These apply to all of us. I couldn’t say it any better than a ministry support group leader did: “The solution for them
is the same for us—the Cross!”
As followers of Jesus Christ, we should seek opportunities to help those with same-sex attraction and identity brokenness to develop and commit to Christ rather than self, and we should encourage the person to trust what God’s Word says.
Reflecting on the time spent with my dad’s pastor of a LGBT-affirming church, I believe the key many miss is this: don’t run away or give in to your discomfort because you don’t understand the other person’s decisions and actions. That’s when fear enters the heart. Rather, reach out with compassion and the longing for them to know Jesus Christ so their life can be transformed. They deserve the opportunity; they deserve the truth. Should they reject it, they aren’t rejecting the church; they’re rejecting God. And the reality of their spiritual peril gives us even more reasons to pray for the LGBT community.
